I had a run in with a rat just today. By 'rat' I meant a real rat - not a hidden informant with the enemies. Anyway, I have a zero tolerance policy towards rats. They are small, hideous, 'mouse'tached and scary.
My trouser spotted the rat first. It was lazily surveying the rodent thinking whether it needs to get into a cheese-sharing arrangement with the animal. This is when my eyes spotted it-my hands & feet were the ones who raised the alarm.
Soon my hotel manager and I joined the hunt. This manager had a reputation of being a 'rat-slayer'. He used to tell tales of the many rats he killed in his youth. Conveniently, all this alleged rat murders happened before I was born - so we have no ways to verify his claims. Also I dont know how the rats have evolved.
Together, we soon drew our battle plans - I was aerial reconnaissance. I was to get on the bed+chair and try to spot the rodent. Before long, we concluded that it was hiding under a bunch of used undies. Armed with this intelligence, we began the concussion bombing. That is, we threw books at it. (the good ones like Chacha Chowdhary, Nandan, Pinki and Billoo)
When sustained bombing did not produce the intended result, we turned to incendiary bombs. We lit a few old newspapers and dropped it on the hiding place. Don’t worry about the newspaper - it was Times of India. Burning is the best use for that publication - perhaps even the only use.
After a few minutes, the rat decided that the current location was too ‘hot’. It beat a strategic retreat to another location. We tried following it - but it slipped through our defenses. There is a network of underground tunnels under our house that all rats share. Once it gets into any of these caves, the chances of catching it approaches zero fast. So we decided to give up the search.
We are waiting for it to release a video footage from one of its underground bunkers to the media, electronic media, newspapers cant print videos.
No comments:
Post a Comment