Roomy trouble

I have stayed with roomies for the recent 7 years of my life. 7 years, 2 roomies. During this time, i have perfected the art of irritating the hell out of them.
Will like to share with you some of the golden ideas.

I hid my undies and/or socks in my roomy's cupboard. Whenever he used to open it and hold my stuff i accused him of stealing. I used to start yelling "Chor-Chor" (Thief-Thief or gora's) and run around the bed to attract attention.

I used to listen to radio static, when we were in the same room. When he asked me about it i said "Sshhhh! Listen.. the good part's coming"

Another classic that a close friend once did. He clipped all his nails and kept collecting them in a plastic bag. When he had a bagful, and when his roomy was around he pretended to snack from the bag. When he walked past him he acted as if he was protecting it and looked at him suspiciously. He almost made his roomy throw up when he told him that toe-nails tasted better than finger nails.

Even you can get better than us.
1. You can get a huge stash of porno magazines and put them under your roomy's bed. Whenever someone comes to visit him and he is not around, invite them in and show him/her "His" magazines.

2. When your roommate comes out of the shower, look at him for a second, look away and then giggle.

3. Buy some fish, and name one after your roommate, the next day announce that he died. Name another one after your roommate, and repeat. Do so until they all die. Mourn to your dead fish "Oh, Andy, why did you die? You were a good fish, a good one indeed!" Hehe.

4. Have your friends over, make sure your roommate is there, but not at the same room. Talk really loudly, have your conversation topic about something weird. When your roommate walks in, be quiet and look at him suspiciously until he leaves.

5. Whenever your roommate walks in, scream out "You're back you're back!" as loud as you can and then dance a weird dance around him for 5 minutes. After that look at the watch and say: "Don't you need to go somewhere?"

6. Take your pen and mark a tiny spot on your arm, make it bigger every day, and when your roommate walks it yell out that it's spreading

7. Make a sandwich, but wait, don't eat it. Put it in his room and completely ignore it. When your roommate gets rid of it yell out that you can't find your sandwich and you are really hungry

8. Call your roommate Sheena "by accident", increase the frequency every day until you always call him Sheena, if he protests, say "Sorry, I wont do that any more, Warrior princess."

Now im tired of finding more ways..
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What's nice about being a woman?

I have been thinking. A lot. Not any of the introspective phases when you think about, where is life taking you and all that bull-shit, but about What's nice being a woman?

1. They got off the Titanic first.
2. They get to flirt with systems support men who always return thier calls, and are nice to them even when they blow up computers.
3. Their boyfriend's clothes make them look gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in their clothes.
4. They can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. They can cry and get off the traffic police.
6. They've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for them. In fact, everyone stops for them
8. Men die earlier, so they get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. They don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. That's why "Pappu" cant dance and not "Pinki"
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. They can hug friends without wondering if he thinks we're gay.
12. They can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives them a whole new lease on life.
14. They can spend a whole day shopping, spend a million bucks and still feel happy about it.
15. They don't have to fart to amuse themselves.
16. If they forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. They can congratulate a team-mate without ever touching his/her butt.
18. If they have a pimple, they know how to conceal it.
19. They never have to reach down every so often to make sure their privates are still there.
20. If they're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. They can cry over the neighbor's dog's dead.
22. They can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
24. They know which glass was theirs by the lipstick mark.
25. They are always closest to the 2 softest things in the world.