About 10 months ago, i had a break-up. Madam J thought that my nose was crooked and was getting more crooked day by day. I had tried all kinds of things. Sleeping on the other side. Putting a hair-pin under my nose. Asking a hunk to punch me the other way. But the essence was that I had a break-up.
Like all non-manic males, I wanted to go to the beach/pub/terrace/water tank/amusement park with a bottle of beer and get inebriated. 'Talli' till my pockets can afford. Luckily i had close friends who used to work for FBI (or were dogs) and were able to sniff out where am i.
I was lonely and desperate too. Everyone was trying hard to get me hooked up. Andy, my roomy, even paid a hooker Rs 10 to talk to me and act as if she's really interested in me. I had almost fallen for her, but she asked me to pay in advance. (Thank God)
Gaurav as usual became by drinking partner. I remember we tried the most potent of all drinks. The ShotGun. It had generous portions of Whisky, Vodka, Benadryl, some milk and Coke. The best part is that it gets all bubbly bubbly and radioactive-ey.
Howver, Madam R, was the best of the lot. She actually asked a friend of hers to come and spend some time with me. Lets call her (im running out of alphabets now) The Warrior Princess. So TWP and I meet in Ruby Tuesday. Terrible food, but they serve LI in pitchers. Nice. Happy Hours. Awesome. I'm not paying for it. Heaven.
She was HOT. Three alphabets summarize all that guys look for in girls. Perfect proportions. (of beauty and brains, perverts!)
We started talking about the MBA stuff, how will this drinking session impact the GDP of India; random as it could get she was a talker. Talker means a Talker. Now for a person like me, who is getting a surgery done for a second tongue, talking was never a problem. But she talked through my brain cells. I could hear them all scream for silence. She was like the Param Supercomupter talking, no, guzzling out, torpedoing, words !!
Wham Bam!! I was smitten. Deeply in love. Then came the biggest question of all. Are you seeing someone. The question that all guys should ask before falling for someone.
She didn’t respond…she was looking at the car park. I sat still…Back straight. Bums tense. Heart tenser. I asked if she was looking for someone (from the inside i wasnted to shout-Hello!! Im here). Two minutes later a tall, handsome man walked in and shook hands with her (actually hugged with 2 kisses on either cheeks) She then turned towards me and said: “Meet Vijay – our parents have met and agreed on our marriage and now we have to decide if we like each other or not.”
The pretty girl could have pierced a knife thro’ my stomach – and pulled out all the Pizza and drained the Long Island.
I couldn’t see my girl walk away with another man…so called for my cab. As I was walking away…I wiped a tear. One more for the weaker sex.
Lesson Learnt: If you have had the spicy Mexican Fireball …don’t take your fingers near your eyes.
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