Brain-fart

Just went about a vendor-meet, to discover that vendors don't hide their farts. They just go ahead and.... phhhbbbbtttt...

This made me think, if we (assuming ur 1 of the civilized kind) fart, how do we say it-smartly..
Came about a few-

"I Farted"

• Inverse sniff...
• A message from Below
• Bench Warmer
• Bottom Belch
• Booty Burp
• Chair charring
• Fermented revenge
• Gassius Assius
• Gastronomically expressive
• Gut Bubble
• Natural Gas
• Phoofs
• Stinkies
• Tooters
• Unappreciated Air