Train Name: Rajdhani
Date & Time: 2 Nov '07, 8:15 p.m.
Destination: Mumbai
4.30 p.m.
I have just installed the Reliance data card, and believe me…it lives up to its Kar Lo Duniya Muthi Main line. I am traveling in the train from New Delhi to Mumbai and on the way responding to the official e-mails that make my life a hell. If this isn’t awesome, what else could be? (I stole the data-card from Papa)
8.31 p.m.
Ohhh…wait! There is a there is a pretty lady in seat number 13. I am in seat number 16 – the side upper berth and have a good view of her.
8.40 p.m.
Unfortunately, J keeps calling me and asking questions like: ‘Do you miss me?” for which my replies have to be really measured. I don’t want the pretty lady to know that I am already committed. Why should she be deprived of happiness just because J got to me first?
I'm not of the adulterous kinds, but a male always stays a male.
8.50 p.m.
I notice the pretty lady is a Keralaite. She is talking in Malayalam. The language has never sounded sweeter. What is it with Indian males? Why do they always fall in love?
9.00 p.m.
Oops! Who is that two-year-old kid sitting next to the pretty lady? Definitely not her son…..because I can see that the kid is wearing a frock, earrings and a bindi. Could she be her daughter? Perhaps. Let me wait till the kid opens her mouth – how will she address the pretty lady? Amma? Mummy? Amme? How long do I have to wait till the kid opens its mouth? Hope I don’t have to wait for five years. I did take that long to speak out for the first time. Some in my family thought I had Parkinson's disease, while a few others put crushed neem and some root on my tongue so that I could talk sooner. I didn’t talk…but shouted because my uncle was standing on my toes. “What the fuck!” I remember saying.
9.20 p.m.
The pretty lady picks up water to drink. Hope that’s clean. One can never trust the Railway guys….they can be quite adulterous. I remember this committed guy in railways. Relationship steady for 4 years and looking ahead for marriage. He had 3 more fiances like her. He was quite adulterous.
9.21 p.m.
While tilting her head back to pour water into her gentle throat, she steals a glance at me. Our eyes meet, but I act out a there-is-a-speck-of-dust-in-my-eye thing and start banging on my keyboard. She perhaps thinks I am master software professional. She doesn’t know that I am using MS Paint (no offense M)– the most basic of all softwares.
While typing, I sometimes pause and look at the dirty fan…sometimes at the chain (the one used to stop the train)…sometimes at the windows…all this to make her feel that I am a great software professional who is coming up with something which would make heads turn and make me a multi-billionaire.
9.30 p.m.
I see that she has got up and is correcting her clothes. Wonder why. Hope she isn’t eyeing the TTE. I can see the TTE checking our co-passenger’s tickets.
9.34 p.m.
The TTE leaves. The pretty lady walks towards the washbasin. We are sitting in 3rd AC…and the washrooms are only slightly better than what one would find in 2nd class compartments. But can I warn her? Would I be well within my rights? I hope she doesn’t go into the washrooms. She walks back and is looking at me this very moment. I smile. I can see that she doubts her ability to control herself in front of a handsome man. She just looks down and keeps walking. I bet she wanted me to look at her hind.
9.37 p.m.
I have decided…once her parents sleep, I will get her phone number. Better still Yahoo ID. How about writing a letter for her.
9.40 p.m.
Found out that she is also going to Mumbai….I had to get down and look at the reservation chart.
F 24, S. Asthana it says. Awesome. I'm sure she loves me.
9.45 p.m.
They are switching off the lights. Why can’t people sleep with the lights on? I am staring into the dark. Can’t see anything. Wonder if she is also staring into the dark? Something that’s going against me is the fact that I remove my glasses while sleeping. Also i look better with my glasses on. She should be carrying a night-vision appendage to look at me.
3rd Nov, 10.24 a.m.
Couldn’t get her phone number or Yahoo ID. In love with her though. We are reaching Mumbai in five minutes.
3rd Nov, 10.32 a.m.
We have reached Mumbai. Her husband has come to pick her up. Glad I held myself last night – he is huge. Must be 6 feet 4 inches. At least two feet taller than I am.
3rd Nov, 10.34 a.m.
Spotted J and J's parents. What should i compliment J with. It is becoming increasingly difficult to make up lies at the last moment. Should have thought the entire way about J. Damn Mallus.
Me: "Wow! new hair style?"
J: "No. This is how it has always been!"
Me:
J: "Its my B'de today"
Me: "Arre baba that's why i came here! Happy B'de!" <Thank God. Lucky escape>
No comments:
Post a Comment